I'm leaving my town in a few days. This week I have been visiting a lot of people to say goodbye. It is difficult. I know a few of my friendships can continue and a few people will even come to America. But for most people I know, I probably won't see them again.
Recently, visas to Azerbaijan for most foreign travelers are limited to 7 days instead of the former 30 days. This has really taken away the incentive for family and friends of volunteers to come to Azerbaijan.
I have published 77 posts to this blog and plan to continue for a little while so that I can cover my readjustment to America. But before I go back, I will visit Berlin, Stockholm and Malta for 6 days each, then go to southern Spain and maybe Morocco for 16 days.
My daughter, Kelly, came to Azerbaijan for three weeks in September 2009. While we were traveling in Georgia, she wrote this in her Facebook blog:
I met a Hungarian traveler today who's taking 6 years of vacation (wish I could do that...) and travelling the world through Couchsurfing. He's been on every continent except Antarctica (which he is planning to get to) and has only about 60 more countries to visit until he has been to every country in the world. We met again later in the day while I was eating dinner outside so I invited him to sit down with me. He had so many stories about the different places he had been.
He told me a story someone had told him:
"A young man cared very much about the world, so he decided one day that he was going to change it. The young man worked very hard for 10 years, and eventually he realized that he could not change the entire world. So then he decided that if he could not change the world, he could change his country. For the next 10 years, he worked for his country before realizing that he could never fully change his country.
So he decided to work for his city, and worked for 10 years for his city, but it did not change much. Then, the man decided to change his family. By this time he was 70 years old and did not have the means or the energy to change anything else. In his old age the man realized that when he was young, he should have started by changing himself. By changing himself into what he wanted to be, he could change his family, and his family could change the community, and then the city, and then the country, and then the world."
This story encouraged me to keep being who I am. As Ghandi said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." I may not be able to change the world in my lifetime, and I'm not out to. Not everyone understands words and listens to speeches. But they can feel your actions.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
DUH III
I wrote two posts—the first about two years ago and last year about my experiences in trying to learn the Azerbaijani language. Since I have been at this for 27 months now, I am confident in saying that learning this language is the hardest thing I have ever done. I believe it was harder for me than it was to raise my children.
When new volunteers come to Azerbaijan, we spend about 4 hours a day for 3 months in language lessons. We live with a host family who usually knows no English and when we are done with our training, we continue our language studies while living with a new host family in our assigned region and working with people who may have little or no English. We are surrounded by Azerbaijani language all day.
This language is not quite as easy for Americans to learn as a language like Spanish or French. One reason is because sentences in those languages are said and translated in a similar order as English. For example, “She wants to buy a red shirt” in Spanish would be constructed “She wants to buy a shirt red”. In Azerbaijani it is constructed “Red shirt to buy wants she.” Making sense of a longer written sentence is difficult, because it is as if all the words for a sentence are put in a box and juggled. When you hear several sentences in a row, it is very difficult to put the words in the proper order to tranlate them in your head to English. It is also difficult to put the words in the right order when you speak.
The other difference is that words often have endings on them, for conjugation or adjectives. For example “it” is dog, “itlər” is dogs, “itlərimiz” is our dogs. But if “our dogs” is a direct object in the sentence, an extra “i” is added at the end, making it itlərimizi”.
There are some things that are easier in Azerbaijani than in Spanish. Nouns do not have a gender. Actually, even pronouns like “he”, “she” and “it” have no gender—they are the same word, “o”. So “O gedir” means “He/she/it is going.”
Anyway, at the end of my 3 months of training, I scored “intermediate low” and was supposed to be at “intermediate mid”. Most of what any Azerbaijani said to me was unintelligible, as was the TV and most signs.
In addition to doing my regular Peace Corps work, I spent the next 6 months in intensive study with a teacher and homework. I lived with a host family and my co-workers spoke little or no English. I met a lot of Azerbaijanis and spoke with them in my limited Azerbaijani. I passed the test and continued to study, last February reaching “advanced low”, where I remain.
I have felt quite confident for over a year going anywhere in Azerbaijan and feeling like I can get what I need. I can have a polite conversation using bad grammar with anyone about limited topics. A more in-depth conversation involves more effort and some misunderstandings, since my vocabulary is not large and I mangle sentences. But TV is still unintelligible as is much of conversation between Azerbaijanis. People tend to speak with me slowly using easy words like they are talking to a toddler.
A highlight, though, is that Azerbaijani is similar to Turkish and when I was in Turkey this summer, I was able to communicate with Turks. I plan to study Turkish language when I return to America.
One of the frustrating things is that in Spanish, for example, if you translate unknown words in a sentence, you can get the meaning of the sentence. When I see a sentence I don’t understand in Azerbaijani, many times I will look up each word, but I still don’t get the meaning of a sentence, since the words are “out of order” in English and the endings all have to be translated too.
Meanwhile, my fellow volunteers were going in several different directions in their language learning. A few were language stars, picking the language up easily and not needing to study—just being exposed to Azerbaijanis was enough for them to progress quickly. These few still say that they are not able to read a newspaper, for example, and TV is not easy for them to understand, but Azerbaijanis recognize their skill are quick to compliment them on their achievement.
Most volunteers did okay and progressed after training, learning new words connected to their work and lives in their new town. They studied off and on, but plateaued early and do what they can with the fairly limited language they have.
And another group, mostly composed of the older volunteers, didn’t learn much in training and gave up soon after they got to their worksites. Some are only able to say greetings, a few nouns for things they need to buy, and a few commands. This limits what they can do and experience in the country, but while they won’t continue to try to learn the language, they try hard to find meaningful work with the limited language skills they have. If they are English teachers, it is okay on the job, but no so good after school in interacting with Azerbaijanis. It also limits where they can go in the country and most of us like to travel. It is common for these volunteers to need another volunteer or Azerbaijani English speaker as a “handler” for certain tasks, such as paying a bill or solving a problem, since they can’t manage a conversation themselves.
Azerbaijanis usually know at least one other language and understand Turkish from watching Turkish TV. They are usually reluctant to speak a language unless their grammar is good and much emphasis is placed on being able to speak a second or third language well. I have found that many Azerbaijanis are puzzled about why most native-born Americans don’t have a second language that we speak fluently.
I explain how large our country is and how I could drive from my home for many hours in every direction and not encounter anyone unable to speak English. Also that if we are studying something, we want to use it; another language is something we may never use. I tell them that I spent about 5,000 hours in high school and college studying Spanish, but was not motivated because I felt I would never use it. If I had spent that time learning something else, it may have enriched my life.
Because of this emphasis on language competence, when volunteers speak limited and grammatically incorrect Azerbaijani, it can affect the way we are perceived here. I sense that some Azerbaijanis think I am not intelligent. And I have seen that for those volunteers who can’t say much at all, Azerbaijanis are mystified and sometimes insulted that the volunteers came here and choose not to study and learn the language.
Unexpectedly, though, a insight came to me from this language learning experience that has nothing to do with Azerbaijan or Azerbaijani language.
We all know Americans who are angry because immigrants, especially Mexican immigrants, usually don’t learn English. Of course, this phenomenon is nothing new--my relatives who immigrated to America as adults many years ago, reportedly never learned English. Typical of most immigrants, they settled in a community made up of people from their country, where the children learned English and the parents mostly didn’t.
For those who want the first generation to learn, I have to say this:
When already well-educated Peace Corps volunteers come to Azerbaijan, they are provided with native-speaking teachers, good materials, plenty of time to study and are surrounded by the language wherever they look. Yet after two years, some can’t say much of anything and most are not fluent.
Mexican immigrants come to America because some Americans are very anxious to hire them—otherwise they would not come. They usually work long hours for little pay. They tend to live in places that English speakers don’t and most have family responsibilities.
If most Peace Corps Volunteers under very supportive circumstances aren’t able to become fluent and many aren’t able to say much at all, why do we expect that Mexican immigrants should become bilingual?
The surprise for me in this case is that Mexican immigrants have nothing to do with my work here. But I am changing my thinking about them because of what I am experiencing in Azerbaijan.
I didn’t expect that my opinions about countries and cultures other than Azerbaijan’s would change. The only way I can figure out how much I have changed is to go back to America, to my friends and family, watch their faces and listen to what they say as we interact.
When new volunteers come to Azerbaijan, we spend about 4 hours a day for 3 months in language lessons. We live with a host family who usually knows no English and when we are done with our training, we continue our language studies while living with a new host family in our assigned region and working with people who may have little or no English. We are surrounded by Azerbaijani language all day.
This language is not quite as easy for Americans to learn as a language like Spanish or French. One reason is because sentences in those languages are said and translated in a similar order as English. For example, “She wants to buy a red shirt” in Spanish would be constructed “She wants to buy a shirt red”. In Azerbaijani it is constructed “Red shirt to buy wants she.” Making sense of a longer written sentence is difficult, because it is as if all the words for a sentence are put in a box and juggled. When you hear several sentences in a row, it is very difficult to put the words in the proper order to tranlate them in your head to English. It is also difficult to put the words in the right order when you speak.
The other difference is that words often have endings on them, for conjugation or adjectives. For example “it” is dog, “itlər” is dogs, “itlərimiz” is our dogs. But if “our dogs” is a direct object in the sentence, an extra “i” is added at the end, making it itlərimizi”.
There are some things that are easier in Azerbaijani than in Spanish. Nouns do not have a gender. Actually, even pronouns like “he”, “she” and “it” have no gender—they are the same word, “o”. So “O gedir” means “He/she/it is going.”
Anyway, at the end of my 3 months of training, I scored “intermediate low” and was supposed to be at “intermediate mid”. Most of what any Azerbaijani said to me was unintelligible, as was the TV and most signs.
In addition to doing my regular Peace Corps work, I spent the next 6 months in intensive study with a teacher and homework. I lived with a host family and my co-workers spoke little or no English. I met a lot of Azerbaijanis and spoke with them in my limited Azerbaijani. I passed the test and continued to study, last February reaching “advanced low”, where I remain.
I have felt quite confident for over a year going anywhere in Azerbaijan and feeling like I can get what I need. I can have a polite conversation using bad grammar with anyone about limited topics. A more in-depth conversation involves more effort and some misunderstandings, since my vocabulary is not large and I mangle sentences. But TV is still unintelligible as is much of conversation between Azerbaijanis. People tend to speak with me slowly using easy words like they are talking to a toddler.
A highlight, though, is that Azerbaijani is similar to Turkish and when I was in Turkey this summer, I was able to communicate with Turks. I plan to study Turkish language when I return to America.
One of the frustrating things is that in Spanish, for example, if you translate unknown words in a sentence, you can get the meaning of the sentence. When I see a sentence I don’t understand in Azerbaijani, many times I will look up each word, but I still don’t get the meaning of a sentence, since the words are “out of order” in English and the endings all have to be translated too.
Meanwhile, my fellow volunteers were going in several different directions in their language learning. A few were language stars, picking the language up easily and not needing to study—just being exposed to Azerbaijanis was enough for them to progress quickly. These few still say that they are not able to read a newspaper, for example, and TV is not easy for them to understand, but Azerbaijanis recognize their skill are quick to compliment them on their achievement.
Most volunteers did okay and progressed after training, learning new words connected to their work and lives in their new town. They studied off and on, but plateaued early and do what they can with the fairly limited language they have.
And another group, mostly composed of the older volunteers, didn’t learn much in training and gave up soon after they got to their worksites. Some are only able to say greetings, a few nouns for things they need to buy, and a few commands. This limits what they can do and experience in the country, but while they won’t continue to try to learn the language, they try hard to find meaningful work with the limited language skills they have. If they are English teachers, it is okay on the job, but no so good after school in interacting with Azerbaijanis. It also limits where they can go in the country and most of us like to travel. It is common for these volunteers to need another volunteer or Azerbaijani English speaker as a “handler” for certain tasks, such as paying a bill or solving a problem, since they can’t manage a conversation themselves.
Azerbaijanis usually know at least one other language and understand Turkish from watching Turkish TV. They are usually reluctant to speak a language unless their grammar is good and much emphasis is placed on being able to speak a second or third language well. I have found that many Azerbaijanis are puzzled about why most native-born Americans don’t have a second language that we speak fluently.
I explain how large our country is and how I could drive from my home for many hours in every direction and not encounter anyone unable to speak English. Also that if we are studying something, we want to use it; another language is something we may never use. I tell them that I spent about 5,000 hours in high school and college studying Spanish, but was not motivated because I felt I would never use it. If I had spent that time learning something else, it may have enriched my life.
Because of this emphasis on language competence, when volunteers speak limited and grammatically incorrect Azerbaijani, it can affect the way we are perceived here. I sense that some Azerbaijanis think I am not intelligent. And I have seen that for those volunteers who can’t say much at all, Azerbaijanis are mystified and sometimes insulted that the volunteers came here and choose not to study and learn the language.
Unexpectedly, though, a insight came to me from this language learning experience that has nothing to do with Azerbaijan or Azerbaijani language.
We all know Americans who are angry because immigrants, especially Mexican immigrants, usually don’t learn English. Of course, this phenomenon is nothing new--my relatives who immigrated to America as adults many years ago, reportedly never learned English. Typical of most immigrants, they settled in a community made up of people from their country, where the children learned English and the parents mostly didn’t.
For those who want the first generation to learn, I have to say this:
When already well-educated Peace Corps volunteers come to Azerbaijan, they are provided with native-speaking teachers, good materials, plenty of time to study and are surrounded by the language wherever they look. Yet after two years, some can’t say much of anything and most are not fluent.
Mexican immigrants come to America because some Americans are very anxious to hire them—otherwise they would not come. They usually work long hours for little pay. They tend to live in places that English speakers don’t and most have family responsibilities.
If most Peace Corps Volunteers under very supportive circumstances aren’t able to become fluent and many aren’t able to say much at all, why do we expect that Mexican immigrants should become bilingual?
The surprise for me in this case is that Mexican immigrants have nothing to do with my work here. But I am changing my thinking about them because of what I am experiencing in Azerbaijan.
I didn’t expect that my opinions about countries and cultures other than Azerbaijan’s would change. The only way I can figure out how much I have changed is to go back to America, to my friends and family, watch their faces and listen to what they say as we interact.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Seva
I was going to write something about the topic of “was the Peace Corps what you expected and do you think you have had an impact?” Then “Seva” called me today and we met. The experience of spending time with her today wrote this post for me:
Seva is 18 and attends her second year at a prestigious public university in the capital city of Baku. She grew up in my town and I lived with her family for about 6 months. Her mother wanted me to live there while Seva was in the second half of her last year in school so that her English would improve and she would do well on the entrance exam. As in many countries, university tuition is free for those scoring well on the exam. Those who score very high qualify for more prestigious universities—those who don’t do well normally don’t attend university.
We spoke English for about 30 minutes each day, and usually spent the time talking about her future, her interests and current events. The family was nice and I spent a lot of time talking with her mother about family, traditions and her daily life in Azerbaijani. Seva rarely left the house other than to go to lessons and had no friends. She studied many hours each day for the entrance exam. Her mother wanted her to be engaged soon and married while she was still in university.
Seva wanted to go to Baku to study if she qualified and eventually spend a year studying abroad, but her family is conservative and she was not able to express her desires confidently. We worked on that and talked about what some of her options would be if she were able to go to Baku to study. Meanwhile, I could see that her English was progressing rapidly.
She did well on the English portion of her exam and on the overall exam and decided to major in English. When she was accepted into the university, her parents were very proud and supportive, even allowing her to live with roommates in Baku. When I have gone to Baku, we have gone to a restaurant where a lot of English speakers go and we had American food. She loved the place and was amazed to see it.
Now she is a very confident girl, who is active in various English-related organizations in Baku, excited about life, reads books for fun, has made new friends and has told her mother that none of the girls in the second course (our sophomore year) in Baku are engaged or married and she wants to wait too. She feels that she is getting a good education and that she has a bright future. She is now looking into study abroad programs.
We met today in my town and we promised to see each other in Baku before I leave. She told me that I was her first American friend and once she knew me, the doors opened for her to a new world.
Seva is 18 and attends her second year at a prestigious public university in the capital city of Baku. She grew up in my town and I lived with her family for about 6 months. Her mother wanted me to live there while Seva was in the second half of her last year in school so that her English would improve and she would do well on the entrance exam. As in many countries, university tuition is free for those scoring well on the exam. Those who score very high qualify for more prestigious universities—those who don’t do well normally don’t attend university.
We spoke English for about 30 minutes each day, and usually spent the time talking about her future, her interests and current events. The family was nice and I spent a lot of time talking with her mother about family, traditions and her daily life in Azerbaijani. Seva rarely left the house other than to go to lessons and had no friends. She studied many hours each day for the entrance exam. Her mother wanted her to be engaged soon and married while she was still in university.
Seva wanted to go to Baku to study if she qualified and eventually spend a year studying abroad, but her family is conservative and she was not able to express her desires confidently. We worked on that and talked about what some of her options would be if she were able to go to Baku to study. Meanwhile, I could see that her English was progressing rapidly.
She did well on the English portion of her exam and on the overall exam and decided to major in English. When she was accepted into the university, her parents were very proud and supportive, even allowing her to live with roommates in Baku. When I have gone to Baku, we have gone to a restaurant where a lot of English speakers go and we had American food. She loved the place and was amazed to see it.
Now she is a very confident girl, who is active in various English-related organizations in Baku, excited about life, reads books for fun, has made new friends and has told her mother that none of the girls in the second course (our sophomore year) in Baku are engaged or married and she wants to wait too. She feels that she is getting a good education and that she has a bright future. She is now looking into study abroad programs.
We met today in my town and we promised to see each other in Baku before I leave. She told me that I was her first American friend and once she knew me, the doors opened for her to a new world.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Leftovers
This post is sort of like a dinner made of leftovers. As I get ready to leave Azerbaijan next month, my mind is filled with a jumble of things I want to do or complete here. I dropped a few of my thoughts in the blog.
When I came here, I wondered if 27 months would seem too long or not long enough. Some of the volunteeers I started with left early for different reasons—mostly medical. A few are staying a few months to a year longer.
For me, 27 months seems perfect--three months of training and two years doing my work. I feel so much more competent than I did when I started and feel compassion for the volunteers who will be starting their new lives as I leave. We try to share our knowledge as much as we can, but there are rough spots and adjustments for everyone that can’t be smoothed over, they just have to be experienced.
One of the things I have tried to do in this blog is to help people to understand what it is like to live here. I am not the caliber of writer to convey what it is really like, especially what it is like to live in a Muslim country. However, I recently read a book that seemed really authentic to me in its description of the contrast between America and a totally different country. I felt like I was there. That book is Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin.
Greg is the guy who has been building schools for young children in Pakistan and Afghanistan for over 20 years. Most schools built by well-meaning foreigners there have been burned down or otherwise destroyed, but most of Greg’s schools have not. He operates in a way that is similar to what the Peace Corps does.
He doesn’t do things for people—he helps them do things they want to do. The community must demonstrate their strong desire for a school, they have to have strongly committed village partners to keep the school running, and be able to supply all the labor and source materials to build and maintain it. Greg doesn’t do anything before he gets to know the people of the community and is trusted before he begins working with them.
In the book, he describes his relationship with warlords, Taliban and mullahs—and why all of these people are not automatically bad guys like we read about in the press. He could not have done his work without having productive relationships with these people. He conveys the frustration, the learning curve, the relationship building and the excitement of a finished product very effectively.
After finishing this book one morning before breakfast, I had a chance to have a lengthy chat with one of the women in my host family. She just turned 69 years old and has been a teacher all her life. I respect her intelligence and insights. I was curious about something and know her well enough to ask a lot of questions that might be annoying.
I have written before about how volunteers constantly hear from 40-plus year old Azerbaijanis how much they miss the Soviet Union. They miss full employment, being part of an important world power, producing food and other goods for the other 14 countries and financial security.
When I lived in America, I had never heard any of this. It is an article of faith in America that Mikhail Gorbachev is a respected figure and Ronald Reagan is often credited with assisting with the fall of the Soviet Union. However, most Azerbaijanis despise Gorbachev for being an agent of the collapse. They are incredulous and angry when they hear that Ronald Reagan is given credit for assisting because they don’t feel the US had anything to do with it. They feel the collapse was due to oil prices and other mismanagement by Gorbachev. Also, they are incensed with the idea that Americans would think they had the right to try to change the government of another country.
The one thing that I never hear is anything bad about the former Soviet Union. So I asked my family member to tell me about some things that are better now or that she did not like about living in the USSR. She thought for awhile and said she couldn’t think of anything. I prompted her by saying that I had heard that people could not ordinarily leave the USSR, that they did not have quality consumer goods and had food shortages.
She said that it was great to be able to travel to the other 14 countries in the Soviet Union and that now most people are too poor to leave their city, let alone travel outside the country. She said they don’t have quality consumer goods now and that they never had food shortages.
After more prompting and more thought about any criticism of the Soviet Union, she said that in Soviet days some of the best fruit and vegetables from Azerbaijan were sent to Moscow. She also said that she thinks men are not as rude to women as they used to be. (The country has become more socially conservative since the Soviet days.) That is all she could say and that is typical. I don’t know what to make of this except that I have heard political observers in America say that Americans vote using their wallets and their sense of security as a guideline. They don’t mind giving up some of their rights or those of others if it will make them feel more secure or prosperous. So maybe this is all just human nature.
I have spent a lot of time in my blog talking about the things I like about this country. People have asked me what criticisms I have of Azerbaijan. After two years, I find I don’t really have any—and that is not because I couldn’t find any if I looked. It is because this is not my country. As a non-citizen, I am not invested in it and feel my opinion shouldn’t count. I am a guest here and am not here to change the country. Do Americans like it when Europeans tell us how we should be more like them? Remember Freedom Fries?
I am here to help Azerbaijanis make the changes they want in their personal or professional lives, to tell Americans about Azerbaijanis and to tell Azerbaijanis about Americans. That is it.
When I came here, I wondered if 27 months would seem too long or not long enough. Some of the volunteeers I started with left early for different reasons—mostly medical. A few are staying a few months to a year longer.
For me, 27 months seems perfect--three months of training and two years doing my work. I feel so much more competent than I did when I started and feel compassion for the volunteers who will be starting their new lives as I leave. We try to share our knowledge as much as we can, but there are rough spots and adjustments for everyone that can’t be smoothed over, they just have to be experienced.
One of the things I have tried to do in this blog is to help people to understand what it is like to live here. I am not the caliber of writer to convey what it is really like, especially what it is like to live in a Muslim country. However, I recently read a book that seemed really authentic to me in its description of the contrast between America and a totally different country. I felt like I was there. That book is Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin.
Greg is the guy who has been building schools for young children in Pakistan and Afghanistan for over 20 years. Most schools built by well-meaning foreigners there have been burned down or otherwise destroyed, but most of Greg’s schools have not. He operates in a way that is similar to what the Peace Corps does.
He doesn’t do things for people—he helps them do things they want to do. The community must demonstrate their strong desire for a school, they have to have strongly committed village partners to keep the school running, and be able to supply all the labor and source materials to build and maintain it. Greg doesn’t do anything before he gets to know the people of the community and is trusted before he begins working with them.
In the book, he describes his relationship with warlords, Taliban and mullahs—and why all of these people are not automatically bad guys like we read about in the press. He could not have done his work without having productive relationships with these people. He conveys the frustration, the learning curve, the relationship building and the excitement of a finished product very effectively.
After finishing this book one morning before breakfast, I had a chance to have a lengthy chat with one of the women in my host family. She just turned 69 years old and has been a teacher all her life. I respect her intelligence and insights. I was curious about something and know her well enough to ask a lot of questions that might be annoying.
I have written before about how volunteers constantly hear from 40-plus year old Azerbaijanis how much they miss the Soviet Union. They miss full employment, being part of an important world power, producing food and other goods for the other 14 countries and financial security.
When I lived in America, I had never heard any of this. It is an article of faith in America that Mikhail Gorbachev is a respected figure and Ronald Reagan is often credited with assisting with the fall of the Soviet Union. However, most Azerbaijanis despise Gorbachev for being an agent of the collapse. They are incredulous and angry when they hear that Ronald Reagan is given credit for assisting because they don’t feel the US had anything to do with it. They feel the collapse was due to oil prices and other mismanagement by Gorbachev. Also, they are incensed with the idea that Americans would think they had the right to try to change the government of another country.
The one thing that I never hear is anything bad about the former Soviet Union. So I asked my family member to tell me about some things that are better now or that she did not like about living in the USSR. She thought for awhile and said she couldn’t think of anything. I prompted her by saying that I had heard that people could not ordinarily leave the USSR, that they did not have quality consumer goods and had food shortages.
She said that it was great to be able to travel to the other 14 countries in the Soviet Union and that now most people are too poor to leave their city, let alone travel outside the country. She said they don’t have quality consumer goods now and that they never had food shortages.
After more prompting and more thought about any criticism of the Soviet Union, she said that in Soviet days some of the best fruit and vegetables from Azerbaijan were sent to Moscow. She also said that she thinks men are not as rude to women as they used to be. (The country has become more socially conservative since the Soviet days.) That is all she could say and that is typical. I don’t know what to make of this except that I have heard political observers in America say that Americans vote using their wallets and their sense of security as a guideline. They don’t mind giving up some of their rights or those of others if it will make them feel more secure or prosperous. So maybe this is all just human nature.
I have spent a lot of time in my blog talking about the things I like about this country. People have asked me what criticisms I have of Azerbaijan. After two years, I find I don’t really have any—and that is not because I couldn’t find any if I looked. It is because this is not my country. As a non-citizen, I am not invested in it and feel my opinion shouldn’t count. I am a guest here and am not here to change the country. Do Americans like it when Europeans tell us how we should be more like them? Remember Freedom Fries?
I am here to help Azerbaijanis make the changes they want in their personal or professional lives, to tell Americans about Azerbaijanis and to tell Azerbaijanis about Americans. That is it.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Leaving Azerbaijan Soon
I am leaving Azerbaijan December 9 because my 27 months will be over. I will miss my new friends here very much, but am glad to be going home. I miss my friends and family. But Iwon’t exactly being going home, since I don’t have one in America. And never having been to Europe, I don’t want to fly over it on the way home without stopping, so I will visit Europe for 5 or 6 weeks first, then head to America.
When I get back to America, I plan to visit my family and friends first, then find a place to live, probably in Washington, D.C. I will have a guestroom and hope my Azerbaijani and American friends will visit me there.
In the meantime, I am wrapping up my work and visiting places I haven’t seen yet. Peace Corps had a wrap-up conference for us and one of the things they talked to us about is “reverse culture shock” and the issues of re-entry to America. I am glad they did, because I have felt for some time that my friends and family will notice that I have changed. Although they have always thought I was not exactly mainstream.
According to the material they gave me, some of the shock is related to the role we play here. We are treated as special people and we look different than others. We are viewed as experts and many people want to entertain us and get to know us. We have a support network of other volunteers who understand us and also a great administrative staff support network at the Peace Corps office in Baku.
A lot of volunteers go from this situation to unemployment and no home waiting for them in America. We cannot claim unemployment benefits, but are given about $7,000 as a readjustment allowance, plus a ticket home or the equivalent in cash.
Since we have not seen most of our family and friends in 27 months, they will, of course, have changed and moved on with their lives. Returned volunteers routinely say that their families and friends are not very interested to hear what they have been doing for 27 months. I don’t want to bore people and hope I won’t. But, the Peace Corps warns that it is our changes in values that are the biggest issue.
Our handbook says “Many return to the United States determined not to lose values learned and practiced during their Peace Corps service. For example, back home, returned volunteers often become more sensitive to the lack of respect some show toward the values of other nations and may strive for a simpler life-style.”
Some of the statements in the handbook are pretty serious. Like ”Do not judge your country and your compatriots too soon or too harshly in the beginning. You used to like this place and these people; you can probably (!) learn to do so again, if you are patient.”
And “Try to avoid the temptation to publicly compare the States unfavorably with the country you served in, for example. This practice may rub people the wrong way. They may ask you, ‘If it’s so bad here, why did you come back?’ Talking to other returned volunteers enables you to vent your frustrations and reassures you that you are not losing your mind.” As far as losing our mind goes, we are offered 3 free counseling sessions in the US as part of our close-of-service package.
Comparing the US unfavorably with Azerbaijan is not something volunteers here do all the time. In fact, much of the time, we wish things here were different and more like the US. But unfavorable comparisons do get woven into our conversations. And we don’t just compare the US with Azerbaijan, but with other countries too. This is because most of us travel to other countries while here, many have lived in other countries before and we meet other foreigners, diplomats and businesspeople here. They compare their countries and culture with ours, Azerbaijan’s and other countries they have visited.
I am confident, though, that some of the things volunteers talk about among ourselves would sound strange to a non-Peace Corps American. Such as how much we will miss eggs laid by chickens we know, how great it is to hang our laundry outside on a nice, sunny day without worrying about what neighbors will think, how we don’t miss driving and love all the public transportation available. Some topics that we discuss Americans would understand, like how much we love buying fresh, locally grown, organic food without packaging, how great it feels to be in a country with a low incidence of violent crime and how much more hospitable than most Americans Azerbaijanis are to guests.
One of the ways I am aware that I have changed is that I don’t drink or eat fish anymore. I was a fish-eating “vegetarian” when I left. I never enjoyed drinking and had a glass of wine or a beer now and then socially. But since I don’t enjoy it, I am not going to do it anymore just to fit in. Worldwide, the fishing industry is a mess, with overfishing a big problem. (Remember all the cheap orange roughy in the 80’s? They were pretty much fished to extinction.) I don’t like the idea of eating farmed fish. So I’m not eating fish anymore.
I never much cared about buying or owning expensive things and this feeling has intensified here. No one in America was impressed with the old Corolla I had before I came here. But now I am going to try to live in a place in which I won’t need a car at all. I realize now that I don’t need a lot of clothes in my closet. Five or six pairs of pants, a few sweaters and shirts, a dress and a couple of skirts and blouses sounds perfect. (KG in STL, are you freaking out yet?) Any more would be too confusing. However, hand-made carpets now interest me a lot and I have bought several. I never had the slightest interest in hand-made carpets before.
Another way I have changed is something that America and Americans can do nothing about. Most of the people we meet in this part of the world are from countries that are much smaller in area than ours and of course, much smaller in population. This type of country is attractive to me, since one can easily become familiar with each region of the country and cultures are more similar, which can lead to fewer divisions and other problems. Everything just seems more manageable in a smaller country. When friends and family are all within 200 or 300 miles, life is easier and families can remain closer. In America, family and friends can all be American, but be separated by thousands of miles. It’s difficult to stay close.
Being such a big country, too, America spends a lot of its money on wars and other defense issues. Many smaller countries have high-speed rail, better roads, great metros and public transportation, free wifi everywhere in cities and free university for smart kids. People live longer, healthier lives because the countries are able to spend tax money on things that improve the lives of their citizens rather than be locked into defense spending.
Another area that stands out is that most countries don’t have our Electoral College system—they have popular voting systems in which everyone’s vote is counted. Since 1948, Massachusetts Republicans have voted in vain in presidential elections. Every year since then, all electoral votes have gone to the Democratic candidate. If I were a Republican in Massachusetts, I would wonder why I should trudge over and vote if I knew in advance my vote would not count.
Most of us try to keep up on what is going on in the news in America. But we experience things without actually having been there—so we experience America like a foreigner. For example, I read about a Delaware Senate election debate in which the separation of church and state was mentioned. During the debate, Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell said “Where in the Constitution is the separation of church and state?”
Her opponent replied that it was in the First Amendment. “Let me clarify,” O’Donnell continued. “You’re telling me that separation of church and state is in the 1st Amendment?” Her opponent replied “Government shall make no establishment of religion.” “That’s in the 1st Amendment?” she asked.
Almost 40 percent of voters know this, but support her anyway. This makes me feel shocked and confused.
And then there are movements like the Tea Party that we didn’t have in 2008 when we left. As a former banker, I am always interested in the money part. This is what I don’t understand about them:
When proponents say they want to cut government spending by billions of dollars but won’t identify the specific defense programs, Social Security, Medicare or other services they want to cut — or the amounts, how can Americans take them seriously? They also don’t explain how this will make us more competitive and grow the economy instead of leading to a death spiral like it did when Hoover tried to end the Great Depression by cutting spending.
Aren’t these Tea Party people the ones who sat silent or cheered when we launched two wars and a new entitlement, Medicare prescription drugs — while cutting taxes — but now, suddenly seem to be angry about the deficit?
And then I don’t understand those who blame unemployed people for needing unemployment payment extensions when statistics show that in St. Louis, for instance, there are 11 unemployed people for every job opening. How is laying off more people or cutting off any sort of payment to them going to help or save us money?
So for my friends and family—at least for a few months, expect me to try to locate live laying chickens, hang my laundry outside, spurn that tuna sandwich and have a mostly empty closet. But I will enthusiastically accept washing my clothes in a machine, buying peanut butter and having a great-tasting cup of coffee whenever I want.
When I get back to America, I plan to visit my family and friends first, then find a place to live, probably in Washington, D.C. I will have a guestroom and hope my Azerbaijani and American friends will visit me there.
In the meantime, I am wrapping up my work and visiting places I haven’t seen yet. Peace Corps had a wrap-up conference for us and one of the things they talked to us about is “reverse culture shock” and the issues of re-entry to America. I am glad they did, because I have felt for some time that my friends and family will notice that I have changed. Although they have always thought I was not exactly mainstream.
According to the material they gave me, some of the shock is related to the role we play here. We are treated as special people and we look different than others. We are viewed as experts and many people want to entertain us and get to know us. We have a support network of other volunteers who understand us and also a great administrative staff support network at the Peace Corps office in Baku.
A lot of volunteers go from this situation to unemployment and no home waiting for them in America. We cannot claim unemployment benefits, but are given about $7,000 as a readjustment allowance, plus a ticket home or the equivalent in cash.
Since we have not seen most of our family and friends in 27 months, they will, of course, have changed and moved on with their lives. Returned volunteers routinely say that their families and friends are not very interested to hear what they have been doing for 27 months. I don’t want to bore people and hope I won’t. But, the Peace Corps warns that it is our changes in values that are the biggest issue.
Our handbook says “Many return to the United States determined not to lose values learned and practiced during their Peace Corps service. For example, back home, returned volunteers often become more sensitive to the lack of respect some show toward the values of other nations and may strive for a simpler life-style.”
Some of the statements in the handbook are pretty serious. Like ”Do not judge your country and your compatriots too soon or too harshly in the beginning. You used to like this place and these people; you can probably (!) learn to do so again, if you are patient.”
And “Try to avoid the temptation to publicly compare the States unfavorably with the country you served in, for example. This practice may rub people the wrong way. They may ask you, ‘If it’s so bad here, why did you come back?’ Talking to other returned volunteers enables you to vent your frustrations and reassures you that you are not losing your mind.” As far as losing our mind goes, we are offered 3 free counseling sessions in the US as part of our close-of-service package.
Comparing the US unfavorably with Azerbaijan is not something volunteers here do all the time. In fact, much of the time, we wish things here were different and more like the US. But unfavorable comparisons do get woven into our conversations. And we don’t just compare the US with Azerbaijan, but with other countries too. This is because most of us travel to other countries while here, many have lived in other countries before and we meet other foreigners, diplomats and businesspeople here. They compare their countries and culture with ours, Azerbaijan’s and other countries they have visited.
I am confident, though, that some of the things volunteers talk about among ourselves would sound strange to a non-Peace Corps American. Such as how much we will miss eggs laid by chickens we know, how great it is to hang our laundry outside on a nice, sunny day without worrying about what neighbors will think, how we don’t miss driving and love all the public transportation available. Some topics that we discuss Americans would understand, like how much we love buying fresh, locally grown, organic food without packaging, how great it feels to be in a country with a low incidence of violent crime and how much more hospitable than most Americans Azerbaijanis are to guests.
One of the ways I am aware that I have changed is that I don’t drink or eat fish anymore. I was a fish-eating “vegetarian” when I left. I never enjoyed drinking and had a glass of wine or a beer now and then socially. But since I don’t enjoy it, I am not going to do it anymore just to fit in. Worldwide, the fishing industry is a mess, with overfishing a big problem. (Remember all the cheap orange roughy in the 80’s? They were pretty much fished to extinction.) I don’t like the idea of eating farmed fish. So I’m not eating fish anymore.
I never much cared about buying or owning expensive things and this feeling has intensified here. No one in America was impressed with the old Corolla I had before I came here. But now I am going to try to live in a place in which I won’t need a car at all. I realize now that I don’t need a lot of clothes in my closet. Five or six pairs of pants, a few sweaters and shirts, a dress and a couple of skirts and blouses sounds perfect. (KG in STL, are you freaking out yet?) Any more would be too confusing. However, hand-made carpets now interest me a lot and I have bought several. I never had the slightest interest in hand-made carpets before.
Another way I have changed is something that America and Americans can do nothing about. Most of the people we meet in this part of the world are from countries that are much smaller in area than ours and of course, much smaller in population. This type of country is attractive to me, since one can easily become familiar with each region of the country and cultures are more similar, which can lead to fewer divisions and other problems. Everything just seems more manageable in a smaller country. When friends and family are all within 200 or 300 miles, life is easier and families can remain closer. In America, family and friends can all be American, but be separated by thousands of miles. It’s difficult to stay close.
Being such a big country, too, America spends a lot of its money on wars and other defense issues. Many smaller countries have high-speed rail, better roads, great metros and public transportation, free wifi everywhere in cities and free university for smart kids. People live longer, healthier lives because the countries are able to spend tax money on things that improve the lives of their citizens rather than be locked into defense spending.
Another area that stands out is that most countries don’t have our Electoral College system—they have popular voting systems in which everyone’s vote is counted. Since 1948, Massachusetts Republicans have voted in vain in presidential elections. Every year since then, all electoral votes have gone to the Democratic candidate. If I were a Republican in Massachusetts, I would wonder why I should trudge over and vote if I knew in advance my vote would not count.
Most of us try to keep up on what is going on in the news in America. But we experience things without actually having been there—so we experience America like a foreigner. For example, I read about a Delaware Senate election debate in which the separation of church and state was mentioned. During the debate, Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell said “Where in the Constitution is the separation of church and state?”
Her opponent replied that it was in the First Amendment. “Let me clarify,” O’Donnell continued. “You’re telling me that separation of church and state is in the 1st Amendment?” Her opponent replied “Government shall make no establishment of religion.” “That’s in the 1st Amendment?” she asked.
Almost 40 percent of voters know this, but support her anyway. This makes me feel shocked and confused.
And then there are movements like the Tea Party that we didn’t have in 2008 when we left. As a former banker, I am always interested in the money part. This is what I don’t understand about them:
When proponents say they want to cut government spending by billions of dollars but won’t identify the specific defense programs, Social Security, Medicare or other services they want to cut — or the amounts, how can Americans take them seriously? They also don’t explain how this will make us more competitive and grow the economy instead of leading to a death spiral like it did when Hoover tried to end the Great Depression by cutting spending.
Aren’t these Tea Party people the ones who sat silent or cheered when we launched two wars and a new entitlement, Medicare prescription drugs — while cutting taxes — but now, suddenly seem to be angry about the deficit?
And then I don’t understand those who blame unemployed people for needing unemployment payment extensions when statistics show that in St. Louis, for instance, there are 11 unemployed people for every job opening. How is laying off more people or cutting off any sort of payment to them going to help or save us money?
So for my friends and family—at least for a few months, expect me to try to locate live laying chickens, hang my laundry outside, spurn that tuna sandwich and have a mostly empty closet. But I will enthusiastically accept washing my clothes in a machine, buying peanut butter and having a great-tasting cup of coffee whenever I want.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
New Blood
This weekend I was lucky enough to go to the airport and meet the 8th group of future Peace Corps volunteers coming to Azerbaijan. All 63 of them arrived on a flight from New York. Last year I met 59 volunteers and the year before that, my group of 60 arrived.
This year’s group, like the ones before, was about 2/3 women, with about 8 older volunteers and about 35 who are between the ages of 22 and 24. Four or five are racial minorities and a few joined with their spouse.
The trainees got off the long flight after brief greetings, piled on three buses with their luggage and took off for three days of orientation before being delivered to their training site host families in local communities for their 11 weeks of training. Most will make it and become volunteers in December and disperse to new locations all over the country.
So who are these volunteers and why do they join?
Volunteers seem like a typical cross-section of well-educated Americans. They come from most areas of the country and different religious backgrounds. The great majority have college degrees, and most are white and come from middle-class backgrounds. The only other things I can think of that most have in common is that the great majority love to read, are very down-to-earth (no princesses) and are politically liberal.
Just like in any organization in the US, people join for different reasons. Many have traveled extensively and are adventure-seekers. They love having unique experiences.
Others have been teachers or worked in the helping professions. They join for altruistic reasons. A few people join to add experience to their resume and do something interesting and rewarding.
Some haven’t been able to find a professional job in America and are waiting out America’s economic problems. Some older volunteers are at the end of their careers and do it as an enhancement to their retirement, while others would like to retire, but can’t afford to. Peace Corps service means they don’t have to support themselves for two years and have an opportunity to buy health insurance when their service is over.
Some people aren’t ready to make the decision to either join the world of work or get their masters degrees. Peace Corps volunteers seem to be much more interested than typical college graduates in getting their masters degrees. Most volunteers either have a masters’ degrees or want to get them. Relatively few have work experience after their masters’ degree.
A few people in the group that left last year went back to their previous profession or re-retired. Some joined masters programs. Some found professional jobs and a few went on to different adventure opportunities. But many seem to be unemployed, working part-time or underemployed.
We are supposed to serve for two years after our training, but some people choose to leave or have to leave. Reasons for leaving are medical issues, family problems, violating rules or in some cases, volunteers just don’t like it here.
The job is a hard one. Problems that most volunteers notice in some other volunteers are depression, alcoholism, excessive partying, worrying about family members and situations back home, failure to integrate into the community, homesickness and negative attitudes toward Azerbaijan.
On the other hand, most volunteers don’t have significant problems; in fact some volunteers love it here so much that they apply to stay longer, up to a year longer.
One of the benefits of coming here that I didn’t realize beforehand, is that I learn a lot about other areas of America from talking to volunteers. Now I feel that I have friends all over America as well as all over Azerbaijan.
Although we come from different states, professions and fields, I am proud of most of the volunteers that I work with. They are hard workers, use their talents, develop new ones and grow in the process.
This year’s group, like the ones before, was about 2/3 women, with about 8 older volunteers and about 35 who are between the ages of 22 and 24. Four or five are racial minorities and a few joined with their spouse.
The trainees got off the long flight after brief greetings, piled on three buses with their luggage and took off for three days of orientation before being delivered to their training site host families in local communities for their 11 weeks of training. Most will make it and become volunteers in December and disperse to new locations all over the country.
So who are these volunteers and why do they join?
Volunteers seem like a typical cross-section of well-educated Americans. They come from most areas of the country and different religious backgrounds. The great majority have college degrees, and most are white and come from middle-class backgrounds. The only other things I can think of that most have in common is that the great majority love to read, are very down-to-earth (no princesses) and are politically liberal.
Just like in any organization in the US, people join for different reasons. Many have traveled extensively and are adventure-seekers. They love having unique experiences.
Others have been teachers or worked in the helping professions. They join for altruistic reasons. A few people join to add experience to their resume and do something interesting and rewarding.
Some haven’t been able to find a professional job in America and are waiting out America’s economic problems. Some older volunteers are at the end of their careers and do it as an enhancement to their retirement, while others would like to retire, but can’t afford to. Peace Corps service means they don’t have to support themselves for two years and have an opportunity to buy health insurance when their service is over.
Some people aren’t ready to make the decision to either join the world of work or get their masters degrees. Peace Corps volunteers seem to be much more interested than typical college graduates in getting their masters degrees. Most volunteers either have a masters’ degrees or want to get them. Relatively few have work experience after their masters’ degree.
A few people in the group that left last year went back to their previous profession or re-retired. Some joined masters programs. Some found professional jobs and a few went on to different adventure opportunities. But many seem to be unemployed, working part-time or underemployed.
We are supposed to serve for two years after our training, but some people choose to leave or have to leave. Reasons for leaving are medical issues, family problems, violating rules or in some cases, volunteers just don’t like it here.
The job is a hard one. Problems that most volunteers notice in some other volunteers are depression, alcoholism, excessive partying, worrying about family members and situations back home, failure to integrate into the community, homesickness and negative attitudes toward Azerbaijan.
On the other hand, most volunteers don’t have significant problems; in fact some volunteers love it here so much that they apply to stay longer, up to a year longer.
One of the benefits of coming here that I didn’t realize beforehand, is that I learn a lot about other areas of America from talking to volunteers. Now I feel that I have friends all over America as well as all over Azerbaijan.
Although we come from different states, professions and fields, I am proud of most of the volunteers that I work with. They are hard workers, use their talents, develop new ones and grow in the process.
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